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Monday, April 6, 2020

Review: Addicted to Perfect





Addicted to Perfect: A Journey Out of the Grips of Adderall by Vitale Buford
Autobiograhpy/Memoir

Perfection is a mask we use to avoid pain. We think that if we can achieve perfection, we will achieve happiness. We believe that if we can avoid pain, we can also avoid abandonment and loneliness and unworthiness.

Perfection is the thief of joy. It’s a lie that keeps us in a stranglehold of chaos and people-pleasing and addiction and lack. Perfection says we are never good enough. It holds us back from being our truest, most authentic selves.

Author Vitale Buford spent nearly three decades of her life in the web of perfection. The roots of her perfection were born in her childhood - she had a dysfunctional home-life fraught with alcoholism, workaholism and shame. This combination created an environment of neglect, where the only way Vitale got attention was to be perfect. She was praised for being an “easy child,” “pretty,” and “self-motivated,” so that’s what she tried to be. Her need for perfection and outside success was coupled with her body image obsession. It was also a distraction from the pain of abandonment and loneliness she experienced in her childhood. It was the perfect storm – she tied her self-worth to her external success and her appearance, and hence, her addiction to perfection was born.

The need for perfection followed her to college, and when she started gaining weight, she became obsessed with dieting to make her body smaller and more acceptable. She worked hard in college and got good grades, but her body shame was all consuming. Her junior year of college, she was introduced to Adderall as a “study drug.” She used it for a few months – and ended up losing 20 pounds; she also got her best grades ever with her most rigorous course load. She was sure she had discovered the “perfect drug.” She was able to obtain her own prescription the following year. It hooked her immediately. She was addicted not only to Adderall but also to the perfection and the weight loss and her newfound ability to accomplish projects and tasks with ease. This was the beginning of a 10-year love affair with Adderall.

In Addicted to Perfect, Vitale shares the highs and lows of having been a slave to Adderall, the destructive relationships that ensued, and the way that she finally broke free. She details the many twists and turns involved in the years leading up to her getting sober and the eating disorder that followed her into sobriety. It took parenthood and radical honesty for her to begin the road to true healing.

Perfectionism is no longer something that enslaves her, and Vitale’s story is one of hope that no matter where you are in your life, you can release the grip of perfection. You can heal your pain and your abandonment and your loneliness and your fear and your guilt and your shame. You can experience true freedom, and most importantly, replace perfection with self-love.





5 out of 5 fairies

Addicted to Perfect is important in today's world. When I started reading this I began to wonder if maybe I was a little too close to the subject to write an objective review - and then I realized I was the kind of person who was meant to read this book. Even now I struggle with the ideal of perfect. It's so easy to get caught up in appearances and doing anything and everything to keep up with them while letting your inner life fall to ruin. Raw, emotional, and powerful, this book is for anyone who has struggled to be perfect at any cost.




Vitale’s thoughts of Perfection

Perfection is the most pervasive thing holding women back – in fact 1 in 2 women struggle with some form of perfectionism. It puts a ceiling on your career, your relationships and your dreams. It tells you that nothing is ever good enough. It convinces you that if you look perfect, act perfect, and live perfect, you will be happy. But it’s all an illusion.


Where to buy: AmazonBarnes & Noble

Add to your TBR list: Goodreads


About the Author: A change agent transforming organizations, groups, and individuals,
Vitale Buford is an iPEC-certified executive coach, international speaker, and author. Featured in The New York Times, she is the author of the upcoming book, Addicted to Perfect, detailing her 10-year struggle with Adderall and perfectionism. Vitale’s experience includes more than a decade working in marketing and business development for a variety of industries and professional service organizations. She brings her personal experience, professional education and training, and her specialized healing techniques together to create a unique coaching system – one that gets to the root of the issue to bring about lasting and real change. Vitale lives in Central Kentucky with her son and their dog. You can learn more about her and how she changes lives at vitalebuford.com.


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