Is 2024 the year you say “Yes” to writing your book?

The first time you hold your printed-out manuscript in your hands… the feeling is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. You’ll be excited, proud, and ready to tell the world about your amazing work of art. However, writing a book takes time. Books take energy, focus, commitment, and discipline. Writing a book requires tapping into a place within yourself that you never knew existed. And saying “Yes” to writing your masterpiece will require you to say “No” to quite a few other things. 

Boundaries As a Writer

Boundaries are essential no matter what you do personally or professionally. However, the dedication it takes to write a book requires boundaries not only with others but with yourself as well. In order to successfully write (and finish writing) a book, you will need to:

Say No to Distractions

In order to write a book, you will need to create an environment free from distractions. When I wrote “You Had Me At No: How Setting Healthy Boundaries Helps Banish Burnout, Repair Relationships, and Save Your Sanity,” I set up a morning ritual that let my brain know it was time to get to work. I made myself a cup of tea in my favorite mug, lit some incense in my office, closed my door, put my earbuds in, and turned on classical music (lyrics distract me, so I listen to pure instrumental). Here’s the most important part… I put my phone on Do Not Disturb. Unless there is a major emergency (in which case someone could call my husband, and he would let me know), I am not available for anything besides writing. 

Maybe you don’t have a dedicated office with a closed door. That’s okay! You can create your sacred writing space before the rest of your household wakes up or after they go to bed. You can let your family know that when you are working, they are not to bother you unless there is an emergency. Get creative and find a way to let your loved ones know this is your time. 

Say No to Invitations

While it’s possible that you’ve got a few spare hours in your day, it’s not likely. Whether you choose to write in 15-minute increments or 3-hour blocks, you will need to carve out the time to sit down and focus. There’s a good chance that means you’ll have to say No to something else. Years ago, I participated in NANOWRIMO (writing an entire novel in the month of November). In order to do this, I had to say no to Halloween excitement. While my friends were out drinking and partying, I was holed up in my living room, sprawled out on my carpet, outlining my book on index cards. 

For you, writing may mean saying no to a friend’s invitation; it may mean delegating a household responsibility to another member of your family or letting your boss know that you are not available for overtime for a few weeks or months. It might even mean saying “No” to (dare I say it?) Netflix. 

Say No to Random Advice

In “Book Writing for Busy People,” I cautioned writers about all the feedback they would get when they sent their book to beta-readers (family and friends, colleagues, fellow writers, subject matter experts, etc.) You will receive a great deal of suggestions regarding how to make your book better. The worst thing you can possibly do… take it all. 

When I was still writing fiction, I learned this lesson the hard way. I asked 7 people to read my novel, and then I made 7 different MAJOR changes to my book based on their feedback. I destroyed my book. It was barely recognizable when it was done, and it certainly wasn’t publishable. 

When evaluating the feedback you receive, sort it into 3 categories: 

1. I’ve heard the same comment or suggestion from multiple people.
2. I’ve only heard it once, but it makes perfect sense, and I agree with it wholeheartedly. 
3. I’ve only heard it once, and I don’t believe it will improve my book. 

If the feedback falls into the first or second category, go ahead and strongly consider making the change. If multiple people say it, there’s a good chance that a flaw has been identified. If only one person has mentioned it, but it got you thinking, and you agree it could make your book better, once again, this could be an opportunity for improvement. However, if you’ve only heard it from one person and you disagree with their assessment, this is an outlier opinion. You may want to run it by some of your other beta readers. If you hear some form of, “That didn’t bother me,” DO NOT make the change. Everyone has an opinion, and you don’t need to kowtow to them.

Say No to the Naysayers

For the most part, when you tell people that you are writing a book, they will be excited. They’ll want to know all about it. They’ll want to read it (and give feedback). People will be proud of you and will cheer you on. For the most part. Unfortunately, there will be friends and family who don’t understand why you would spend all of that time and energy writing. There will be people who don’t believe you can do it. There will even be people who say you don’t have the right to write. 

Ignore them. This is their fear speaking, and they are just reflecting it onto you. 

You don’t need to accept their negativity. In fact, you don’t even need to listen to it. You can say things like, “I know you love me and just want to keep me safe. And, this is something I want to do and will do anyway.” Or, “You don’t have to understand why I’m doing this. However, you don’t get to talk me out of it either.” If you’d like a resource for how to say no kindly, clearly, and firmly, you can download my cheat sheet here. 

When you say “Yes” to writing a book, you must say “No” to other things. And that’s okay! Having boundaries as a writer is essential. When you hold that book in your hands for the first time and when you hear from all the people whose lives have been made better because you put your genius out into the world, it will all be worth it. 

Learn more about how to create healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life at https://www.sherylgreenspeaks.com/boundary-bites/

“Yes. Of course. I’d be happy to. It’s no problem at all.”

Sheryl Green has taken “people-pleasing” to Olympic levels. For decades, she put everyone else’s needs above her own… until she hit a metaphorical brick wall.

After committing to one too many responsibilities, Sheryl discovered the importance of boundaries… okay, she actually discovered that boundaries were even “a thing.” Now, she works with individuals and organizations to establish healthy boundaries to improve relationships, communication, and well-being.

Learn more about her services and her books at www.SherylGreenSpeaks.com and www.YouHadMeAtNo.com

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