The Physics of Relationships: A Novel
by Chas Halpern

A highly readable, intimate story about loss, aging, female friendship, family, and renewal…told with grit and humor.

Lexi is a sixty-year-old widow whose solitary life is thrown into turmoil when a desperate young woman moves in with her, soon followed by the unexpected arrival of her best friend, who has separated from her husband of forty years. The mix of these three very different personalities – a powerful omnivore seeking to live life to the fullest; a sweet, self-denying vegan; and Lexi, a thoughtful, still grieving widow – leads to some surprising (sometimes humorous) situations that force Lexi to re-examine her life. In the physics of relationships, Lexi observes that nature abhors a vacuum. She begins to wonder if she herself has somehow manipulated her circumstances to fill that vacuum…simply to imitate the life she had before the death of her husband. 

5 out of 5 fairies

A moving story, that looks at life through the connections we make, and the people who change us. Halpern did an amazing job of bringing the characters to life, and I saw pieces of people who have passed through my life in each of them. Lexi is a great narrator, and while I can’t say I agree with all the views she expressed, you can’t help but feel compassion for her and the losses she’s suffered. It was interesting to see how the dynamics and tone of conversations changed depending on the topic and participants. Change can be difficult, but life is full of change. This book examines those changes, and gives you insight into the mind of an older woman, who struggles with those changes.

Lily:  Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview Chas, I’ve enjoyed reading The Physics of Relationships. What inspired the title you chose?

Chas:  Like most of my novels, it began with a different, less evocative, working title. After completing the manuscript, however, I began casting around for a better title. The main character, Lexi, muses about how the principles of physics relate to the relationships she observes around her. Lexi doesn’t claim to have any deep understanding of physics. But that is partially the point. The physics analogy is not so much a strict conceptual relationship. It has more to do with Lexi’s sense that unseen, psychological forces are at work, both connecting people and repelling them from each other. Ultimately, I went with the title because my wife (to whom the novel is dedicated) liked it very much. She found it intriguing. And I very much trust her taste. She is an avid reader of good literature.  

Lily:  I love the title, and I think it fits the story well. What if you had to give the book a different title? What would your alternative title be?

Chas:  Ha! Well, I’ll confess the original working title: Unfinished. It was a nod to the fact that, at the age of sixty-three, Lexi’s life was still unfinished. 

Lily:  That one’s pretty good too. Which character was most challenging to create? Why?

Chas: Okay, this might sound a bit pretentious, but none of the characters in the book were challenging for me. Once I invest in a character, that character tells me how to write their story. It’s weird. I know. It’s a little like Frankenstein. As a writer, you lend a character their life-force, and that character comes alive. I have no idea how that alchemy works.  

Lily:  That’s actually pretty awesome! Have you experienced anything similar to any of the events in the book?

Chas:  No. All the circumstances were invented. However, I borrowed bits and pieces from real persons I have known to construct the characters. Sometimes I borrowed from my own life, especially for the main character. Sometimes I borrowed from alternate personalities in my own psyche. What I mean is that we all contain opposing qualities within ourselves. If I’m generous, I also have a selfish side. If I’m shy, I also have a hidden extrovert side. And so on…. As writers, we tap into our hidden twin…sometimes evil and sometimes better, funnier, smarter or more noble than we are. 

Lily:  I love that idea that we have a hidden twin, and you definitely created believable characters. Now we’d like to talk about you as a writer. If you could be mentored by a famous author, living or dead, who would it be? What book of theirs is your favorite?

Chas:  That’s a difficult question for me. Much like Lexi, the main character in my novel, I have a hard time choosing favorites. My mind just doesn’t work that way. On the other hand, I admire many writers. I’m not very good at writing poetic descriptions. I would hold up Proust as the champion of that skill. I recently read Elizabeth Strout’s Olive Kitteridge. I admired her ability to convey emotion without ever specifically naming the emotion. I like Meg Wolitzer’s intelligent social satire. Sally Rooney is great at taking you into the intimacy of relationships and keeping you interested throughout the novel. (On more than one occasion, I have described The Physics of Relationships as Sally Rooney for boomers.) These are just a few of the writers I admire. I could go on…and on. 

Lily:  That’s a great list, and now I have some new writers to check out What is the most inspiring/best feedback you’ve ever received from a reader?

Chas: I loved that one reader said, “I couldn’t stop reading until the very last word.” I always try to make my novels entertaining. But The Physics of Relationships is hardly a thriller. So that reader comment wasn’t just about suspense. It’s was about engagement with the characters and feeling the kind of empathy that pulls you into the story and won’t let you go. 

Lily:  You did a great job keeping the story moving forward, so I can totally understand how they felt. Do you have a ritual to get into the writing headspace?

Chas:  Not really. I sit down in front of my computer and hope the muses will visit me. Many writers have said this: You have to write every day (or at least six days a week). That discipline creates a kind of mental friction. And when that happens, your brain starts working behind the scenes, at night or any time of the day, focusing, without explicit intention, on your story.  

Lily:  That’s a lot of writing, but I’ve heard the same thing from author friends before. I like the idea of everything working in the background. Let’s finish up with some fun questions and get inside your mind. If you had to be haunted by a ghost for the rest of your life but could choose who the ghost would be, who would you choose as your ghost? Do you think they’d be friendly or mischievous?

Chas:  Oh, boy. You’re asking me to choose my favorite again…my favorite ghost. I suppose it would be a wise Zen master who would help enlighten me whenever I was too caught up in worldly pain or desires. The word “light” embedded in the word “enlighten” means both illumination and less heavy. We could all stand to carry a little less weight in our lives. 

Lily:  That might be one of the most helpful ghosts, being able to help you even if they can’t touch anything physically. What do you think of the advances in AI, optimistic or nervous?

Chas:  Both. I see the possibility for help in the field of medicine, for example. AI will be able to invent new molecules to cure disease or create new vaccines in minutes. And it’s quite possible that AI will eventually help us find new technologies to alleviate climate change. 

However, the AI revolution is different from past technological revolutions in the sense that it doesn’t just replace work. It replaces our brains. Consequently, many people (including professionals) will be put out of work. How we deal with a post-work world, as humans, will be challenging. I suppose it will be a little like retiring. You have to find new avenues to find self-worth and meaning. It will also increase the divide between the have’s and the have-not’s. How will our society deal with a world where 90% of us are unemployed? Will the 10% share their wealth? 

Then there’s the question of a world where all the essential services are controlled by an algorithm. Will that algorithm be programmed to be kind, humane, and merciful? Or will it simply follow a strict logic? Here’s a scenario that is exaggerated to make a point: Suppose you ask AI to solve climate change. Logically, the algorithm might decide that the problem is too many people. That logic might deduce that eliminating, say, 3 billion people would be the simplest solution. You see what I mean? 

The future of AI is a subject of intense interest for me, so much so that I wrote a speculative novel called Humans Anonymous that tackles the issue of how AI will affect individuals and society in the near future. I’m currently shopping the manuscript around to agents. 

Lily:  This is a great answer – I’m also partly optimistic, partly nervous. Would you rather give up cursing forever or give up ice cream for 12 years?

Chas: I enjoy cursing, but just for fun because it spices up your language, and it’s a little transgressive. No word is inherently bad. It’s the way you use it. Since I’m a word person, I’ll vote for cursing.  

Lily:  As much as I enjoy ice cream, I don’t think I’d be able to give up cursing either. If you were the ruler of an ancient civilization what would you want your tomb to look like?

Chas: I honestly wouldn’t care what it looked like. Let the living decide. But I would like there to be an inscription on it: “The more you understand, the kinder you are.” 

Lily:  That’s a beautiful and true quote. You find a trap door hidden in your house or apartment, what do you hope to find inside? What are you afraid you’ll find inside?

Chas:  I would hope to find a treasure of some kind. Who wouldn’t? But it wouldn’t have to be in the form of money. It could be a beautiful painting, for instance. I would not like to find human bones. If I found human remains, I might need to move to a new house. 

Lily:  There are so many treasure possibilities, and I appreciate that you wouldn’t mind something other than money. What’s the best sandwich you’ve ever had?

Chas:  My childhood favorite was tuna salad sandwich with a good amount of mayonnaise. I would like to build a statue to the person who invented mayonnaise. 

Lily:  Now I’m thinking about having a tuna sandwich for lunch tomorrow. Is there anything else you would like to add that I haven’t included?

Chas:  An obvious question about my book, The Physics of Relationships, is why I chose (as a man) to write a novel in the voice of a sixty-three-year-old widow. To answer that question, you have to first understand my background. I grew up with a single mother and two older sisters. I had no male role models. Throughout my life, women (whom I have loved and respected) were my role models (including my wife and daughter). It is almost easier for me to assume the voice of a woman than the voice of a man. 

But that doesn’t answer the question: Why this particular book? Here’s the answer: When you’re married for a long time, like my wife and me, an inevitable question comes up. What will life be like when one of you dies before the other? That question creates a lot of sadness and anxiety. I wanted to help alleviate my wife’s fear and anxiety (and my own) by writing a realistic, but positive, book about life after the death of a spouse. I didn’t want it to be a grief book. I wanted it to be a book about renewal. 

Lily: That’s a beautiful reason. My husband and I have a (small) age gap, but we’ve had many discussions about what will happen if one of us passes on before the other. Maybe that’s why I found this to be slightly comforting in some ways. How can readers find out more about you and your work?

Chas: At any of the links below.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo | Goodreads

Chas was born in Los Angeles, but spent most of his life in the San Francisco Bay Area. He grew up with two older sisters and a single mother.

Chas studied political science and French at the University of California, Berkeley. On a year abroad program in Paris, he met his future wife, the artist Pouke. Some years after their marriage, they adopted a multiracial baby daughter who now identifies as queer. Chas attributes his ability to create fully-realized female characters to his life spent surrounded by women he loves and respects.

After a short stint teaching high school French, Chas established himself as a commercial writer and director, specializing in storytelling and humor. Eventually, he turned his skill at storytelling to writing novels. He explains:“I enjoyed my life as a scriptwriter and director, but I always felt creatively constrained by having to meet my corporate clients’ demands and by having to limit myself to storytelling that could be told in ninety seconds or less.”

Chas now lives in Berkeley, California with his wife. He recently finished his seventh novel, A Handful of Clouds, the story of a divorced couple re-examining their relationship.

When not writing, Chas can be found singing baritone opera arias around the house or playing pickup basketball at the local park.

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