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Licensed to Rear
by Riya Aarini

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Mila Winston aspires to earn a professional license to practice parenthood. It’s all she needs to start her family in the happiest micronation on Earth. Newcomers flock to Coolbeensia to fulfill their dreams of raising children here, where kids are guaranteed loving—as opposed to horrible—parents.

But mighty obstacles test Mila’s grit. Peter Losor, a chap with an annoying air of bravado, questionable parenting skills, and a defiant personality, stirs up trouble, eventually challenging the very law that defines Coolbeensia—that licensure is mandatory to enjoy the privilege of raising children.

Will Mila survive her trying ordeal and achieve her ambitions of being a licensed parent in the quirky yet revolutionary micronation? Find out in this satirical, contemporary family fiction novel that will leave you second-guessing the ideals surrounding the prestigious job of parenthood!

What genre does Licensed to Rear: A Novel fall into?

Anyone who enjoys satire, particularly the work of English author Jonathan Swift, who wrote Gulliver’s Travels in 1726, might make comparisons to my novel, Licensed to Rear.

Swift’s aim in writing Gulliver’s Travels was to try to modify the English government for the better, while pointing out its weaknesses and incompetencies.

The English author’s famous book is a satire that addresses human folly in a humorous way. I’d say the same for Licensed to Rear. It’s a humorous, satirical story that brings to light the weaknesses and incompetencies of society today. 

My novel also offers suggestions to correct these weaknesses. One such suggestion is for would-be parents to earn a license prior to having children in order to reduce the horrific number of cases of childhood neglect that tarnishes society. 

Of course, I’d consider my book absurdist fiction. But one can’t help imagining a world where a parental license would make a significant difference for the better!

“He’s seven, barely getting started,” Jason retorted. “And for life? Are you kidding me?”

“Well, we have to look closely at the defendant’s conduct and determine if it unequivocally led to a violation of the plaintiff’s Fifth Amendment rights.”

“What was that right again?” 

With a heavy sigh, Mila shook her head. “Jason, you should know it by now. It’s Friday, and you had three days to memorize the entire Bill of Rights.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, but—”

“No excuses, Jace. We’ve got to prepare if we’re going to be licensed parents.” She put her hand on his thigh and gave it a light push. “Anyway, the Fifth Amendment states that kids have the right to live in a make-believe world for as long as they wish.” She dropped her tablet onto her lap. “For sure, per Coolbeensian law, this kid’s right was violated.”

Jason jerked his head back. “How so? Kids at some point realize there’s no Santa Claus.”

“But at age seven, he had the right to be inspired by the magical world of Santa and other legendary beings. I mean, it’s just plain wrong that the father’s irresponsible blurt led him to no longer believe in the Tooth Fairy too. These figures add so much joy and wonder to a child’s life. The father had no right to take that joy away from his son so soon.”

She crossed her arms. “It’s just not sensitive parenting.”

“Eh, I disagree,” Jason argued, cocking his head. “In a couple years’ time he’d have learned the truth anyway, from friends and even teachers.”

Mila flung her neck back. “Ugh, I’d never tell my fourth graders that Santa doesn’t exist.” Her eyes grew big. “Some still believe.”

Book is available everywhere books are sold, including Amazon

Riya Aarini entered her small part of the world one summer day in the Pacific Northwest. She writes in an eclectic mix of genres, including humor and contemporary fiction. If you enjoy quirkiness with a pinch of whimsy, you’ll have an appetite for her books. 

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